Born and raised in Columbia, South Carolina, I am an avid life-long learner who is passionate about how those marginalized due to their sexuality can fit into the larger framework of Christianity. Since childhood, I have been fascinated with how people relate to the world around them, and my “discoveries” usually resulted in me approaching the nearest adult or child and exclaiming, “Guess what?”
I grew up an only child in very conservative, white, American Christian circles and came to love God (and Jesus) early on. As soon as I could read, I would sit in the car perusing my Bible on the 30 minute drive to and from church each Sunday with my parents. I often caught adults off guard because I would ask unusual questions and displayed little interested in typical childhood conversations. I struggled to relate to my peers as a youth because I desired black and white answers while living in a world full of grey.
I attended Wheaton College (IL) for undergraduate studies, graduating with two degrees in Music and Mathematics in 2004, and then completed a graduate degree in Music from Michigan State University in 2005. After my formal education, I spent several years teaching music at a Christian school and also leading both traditional and contemporary worship formats in a Christian Reformed church. After two decades of personal avoidance, denial, and failed efforts to change, however, I resigned from my positions and finally accepted my own sexuality. Since then, I have embraced the difficult questions about faith and human sexuality, trusting the leading and conviction of the Holy Spirit and also the love of God for all people.
Currently, I work providing computer support to the general public in Fort Worth, Texas. My husband Steven, my two sons, and I worship at the local United Methodist Church, where I volunteer with the worship band and Steven volunteers in the kitchen, preparing meals. I share my spare time between my family, my church, and my passion for foreign language study. I am Meyers-Briggs type INTJ and a 5 wing 6 on the Enneagram, and value practical theology that addresses what actually exists in the world, eschewing theology that ignores reality for detached idealism or insistent certainty of belief. I truly believe that actively listening to the stories and experiences of those who have been pushed to the margins are the key to developing empathy and bridging man-made gaps between people, and that reconciliation and re-unification can only happen through intentional relationship between those who are different.
If you’d like to ask questions or inquire about public speaking for events, please reach out to me at stephen.h.bates@gmail.com.
On the Wings of the Dawn 